Hi.

I, as some of you may know, have been struggling to get out of bed for the past couple of months acd I could not understand why.

I felt happy with what I was doing. I like making people happy and love sharing my art but something still felt off.

Last nitght I my mom talked to me about my motivation and I came to the realization that I, throughout a lot of my life,have been focusing and worrying to much about my future instead of living in the moment due to past trauma in m life.

When my mom broke up I couldn't understand why, granted, I was very young at the time and was upste that it seemed like our prefect family life was falling apart.

Even still, when my dad started dating my stepmom and they moved to Seattle then Dallis Texas, I still wanted things to stay like they used to be.

Especially considering that my stepmom got cancer and my dad and her couldn't seem to stop arguing.

My stepmom is very cynical.

She gets upset at the smallest of things, like when she's lost something of hers and can't find it.

Or it's just berceuse things aren't going her way.

As I've gotten older I've been wanting to change things by growing up in some way.

I always have wanted to make some sort of Youtube channel after seeing users like Stampy Longhead or Dan TDM in my tween and early teen years.

I, ever since then, have always wanted to entertain people on a broader scope and get into making my own videos.

Although berceuse of School and my monthly eye surgeries, I always felt like I was just out of reach.

I kept thinking to myself, "Just a little further" instead of trying to take action in the moment.

I didn't know what to make of the whole thing. I felt like somehow I had wasted my time.

hat is until I talked to my mom after watching this video on an obscure Visual Novel game by Amelie Doree

It was in this newest video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7S2hyYGRpU where she discusses the themes of the game.

One of which being the idea of labels and how sometimes we tend to let other peoples opinions of us, or the way that sociaty treats our Race, Sexuality, etc, determine the that way other poeple think we should live our lives.

As well as how a single story can't truly reflect all the small nuances of life weather it be fiction of nonfiction.

My mom last night asked me why I didn't feel motivated and after explaining that I love what I do, I came to the realization that I felt guilty for mot being in the moment and making the most out of life, and so she asked me If i wanted to go to the gym and I said yes.

Now after reflecting on everything I feel better then I ever have.

I'll use these labels our society has crefted to impower myself and bring that joy to as many people as I can through the internet!

So here's how I define my character, in both fiction and nonfiction! HAHA!

I am a 21 year old, legally blind yet partially blind man, who also considers himself to be a goofy emo kid at heart who has an open mind and eccepting personality thanks to his mom. He also really likes adult humer and "adult content" especcialy!

most Importantly of all, he likes to make other people smile and happy, for he feels that he's an entertainer at heart.

Thank You all for reading this and I'll continue to upload new and exiting things till the day I die If It means that I can make a positive impact on peoples lives!